es mi vida.

2011-09-30T23:06:00.008+08:00

heeeyy!

Havent been touching on this blog for really long!
As usual,i've been busy with work,family,friends and quality time with fiance.

And yes! alot of changes around.
Now i'm a happy aunt with two cute nephewsss!
300 days to a new chapter of my life.Insya allah.
I think I'm half prepared for marriage life.=)
Our house is building up!
all thanks to the update from facebook. =)

2011 has been both a good and yet a heartbreaking year for me.

October filled with great plans!
-Naddy's engagement!
-Westlife's gravity tour
-Pink ribbon walk against breast cancer
-Oscar night!

and cant wait for december to come!
Sister's in law wedding and cousin's (Wid's) wedding.
Im so happy for them!

2010-10-23T22:47:00.008+08:00

just the way you are.

movin on,ppl change as time goes by.
good or bad i believe,ppl learn from mistakes.
like i do,im glad i moved on and im gladful to where i am standing at right now.

God is the almighty.
everythin happens for a reason.
its been 2months that passed after history strikes.

im somehow happy with my job,he is happy with his new job.
and thank god he doesnt haf to face reservist! like wooohooo!

no more overseas trainin and no goodbyes.

worklife has been really hectic for me.
10 days straight of work?!
how ridiculous right? i know..

i realised that now,pple dnt respect nurses or healthcare workers anymore.
they are demandin for more and nvr appreciate of wad they have in life.i feel kinda sad when i see so much of complaints,attitudes from the clients.

Nursing isnt seen as a well respected job in this current life context.
that is why,switchin to a new career is another thing in my mind.

or i will be a nurse thru out my whole entire pathetic life.

colleagues,family and frens encouraged me to stay but to see my body sufferin is nt a good thing.

2010-08-31T09:39:00.000+08:00

one by one.

so much things happenin for these few months.
the happiest moment that ive ever felt before,
officially his fiancee.=)

somehow cudnt blieve this would happen
after all these while.
im indeed really thankful,happy,blessful,confident,
that he is the one who would be life partner,doin everythin
with me together till my last breath.

and now my parent's health is my main concern.
my late step grandmother just left us.
im thankful of where i am nw and wad ive got and
how God have led my journey of life to.

Time to save up and more travellin soon.=)
countries that i wish to visit like europe,egypt,maldives,new zealand,
united states etc.
But i need money!!

Now,its time to change this blog layout.

Final good news for me!
Heartrob wont have to say goodbye for taiwan or reservist anymore.
Yeah!

2010-06-17T11:43:00.003+08:00

All I Need.

Im so disappointed.
Its all wad i ever wanted.

Regrets?

No point regrettin.

Let other's haf that chance.

But yes,thinkin of it,i would cry.

If i only i could push myself further or erase the original marks.

So,im lettin go.
Im better off with this designation.

And,

the exciting part,im heading redang island for the second time.

Why?

Cos its marvellous!

i love the snorkeliin,the beach but the sea sickokokonesss.urgh.

cant believe the fishes ate my vomitus!hahaha..

i cant wait for june to pass.

and its definitely for gooooood!

2010-05-10T21:50:00.007+08:00

chan kit teng koon.

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go

I'm standin' here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn

The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times

I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I'll think of you

Every song I sing, I'll sing for you

When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring.

(exactly the song he sang for me before he left.)

its unfair.

totally unfair.

040510

its so called officially the last day that he sent me to work.

damn worried and upset.

cudnt even accept the fact that he was really goin.

may the force be with me.

090510

2350hrs.

i feel so different.

i thought he wudnt be able to call but he eventually did.

so relieved by that precious phne call.

its hard for me to see him depart.

cos i know im gonna miss him terribly,

i know i will be really worried for him,

i know i will feel so lonely,

i know i will be disorganised.

too tired with work in the morning.

but thank goodness our parents understands our need for our last dinner together.

i could still feel like breakin down.

yes.im good at that.

100510

1653

its such a nice date tdy and wonderful day.

cos he called while i was working.surprisingly.=D

the weather was so perfect either.

we cudnt chat for long but its really enough just to hear his tired voice.

but alhamdulillah he had a safe journey.

im missin him so much.19 days more to go.
Endure it.i knw i can.

if time is kind to me.

100510

1830

Third call for the day frm him.=D

i guess he was worried for me either.

in case if i go berzerk?

the reason why im typing and gettin so damn emotional,cos i knw he will read this when he gets to and let him know how i really feel with this long wait,lastly,

cos he wants to knw how i would be spendin my time.

2010-04-30T16:23:00.004+08:00

Not for nothing.

Time is playin around with me.
Im supposed to be sleepin right now cos im on night shift for the forth round of the month.Wth right? but its okay.to pay back the time ive been away frm werk.

Im left with ten days till he leave for Taiwan.

Yes.How nice is that.

No msges.

No calls.

No emails.

No dates.

No alarm clock.

No hugs.

No breakfast lunch dinner.

No nothin.

No one to talk to me when im alone in the street at 5am.

Im figurin out wad i shud be doin while he's away.

(my gift is still on the process)

Sorry if i havent been bloggin cos i was busy with so many outings and werk.
and of course,The Proposal. =)

Pray hard that tonite's gonna be a good night.

2010-03-23T21:45:00.004+08:00

Im depriving for sleep.

So much of nightmares and dreamlands.

Stress with all the studies probably.

my brains are pretty rusty and so is my blog.

Haven got the time to update yet bcos im fighting with time.

The happiest part is ive gone to Universal Studios Twice!!

Yes!! The rides was awesome and the ticket price i paid for was only ten bucks!

Tmr's another day in class.

Draggy.

Lecture lecture lecture.

Coffee coffee coffee.

and im having cough for more that three weeks?? wth!

And so my batam trip is over.

Went for Spa and did yoga for the very first time.

The feeling was shiokeeneneneh,its very cheap,the resort was superb!

the water sports is my fave hobby and interest!

anyone interested to go batam,tell me.i can tell u wads the best and cheapest package.haha.

Next destination,Redang Island!

WeEeEeEeEeEEeEe! Snorkelin!

Ive got all the wet suits ready girls!

after that,no more hols for me.

Save save save.

I promise this wud be the last. =P

Promise myself that.

I cant wait for the weekend to come.

2010-02-18T01:20:00.006+08:00

Crazier.

Two more days to go.

Finally our plan is confirmed.

Yeeaaayy!

its officially the last outing for me and him before he leaves for Taiwan and Dubai.

i'll make it a good one.=)

Thank you girls for helpin with the leave.=D

2010-02-08T23:46:00.008+08:00

sinful treat.

The waiting room.
13 days to hold on to and we'll meet again.

Work has always been a hinder for us from meetin each other and spend time together.

But im sure with all the patience that we've got,hopefully,with God's will, it'll go the right way.

Things between me and bf has been goin on very well.Just fine.

He's the man that cud bring me to the right path and the one that i haf always wanna be with till my very last breath.Each time we see old couples passin by holdin each others hand, i told him,"i wan us to be that way.." and he smiled.

We've known each other for more than five years.

We've been having serious conversations with each other.

and with our parents these few weeks.

Im sure this is the right decision that ive made and it cud nvr be wrong.

he's been puttin on alot of patience towards my stupid behaviours or attitude

and he is the only one who understands my needs.

I think i shud really change.

Change for the better.

Stop the dirty habits now that i have.

Learn things that i shud be doin.

and wait for the end of 2010 to come.

Im extraordinarily happy.

Happy that im the lucky one to be with him and

happy that we haf our family's blessings.

Now,

feb-batam trip with colleagues

march-nhg college + fazera's burfday celeb.

july- Redang Island + heartrob's burfday

september- i MUST watch F1.

i need a massage on my back soooo badly!

spm-stop bitchin around and bad mouthin people alrite.get the right attitude and i pity your love ones for your wrong moves.and i definitely hate disgusting womens out there like you,i feel sorry and shameful for you.Repent!

2010-02-03T02:06:00.002+08:00

i hate history.i need to sleep but i cant!

2010-02-01T00:19:00.003+08:00

He taught me how to love, but nt how to stop.

I haf two more off days then starting to work again..

im havin more than enough rest and sleep.

but how i wish if i do not haf to werk at all?

time to start pullin up my socks.

im slackin up ALOT.

everyone's asleep and im right here eyes widely opened.

im just waiting for the time to reach 2am. =)

i cn sleep more comfortably with his sweater.

someting i can keep close to with me when he is away later.

im just waitin.urgh.

i had a dream earlier today.

dreamt that i was on the phone with him.

wen nadia woke me up,

i grabbed my phone and went,"hello?"

and i laughed to myself.ya..gila right?

now,frustrated.cos i was blinded by ur stupid lies!

2010-01-30T00:42:00.000+08:00

madonna-celebration.

Happy 22nd birthday ANIS MAKROF! =)
happy birthday to Wid,nisa,aizudin and pie si too!
one year older!
Heys,i like the number 22!

I suddenly miss someone.

2010-01-25T12:59:00.000+08:00

dejavu.

Baby sitter for irfan tdy.
Poor baby.stupid cough and flu.

I need some oxygen therapy.
Im Confused,lost,indecisive,demoralised.why? Idk.
I need anti-depressant.
Or probably some kind of drug to put me to ease.

Rent a car this wed and head to sentosa.
Wait till i buy a car in july and i wnt haf to rent anymore.

Currently,decidin whether or nt to join police or cnb.=)

2010-01-24T23:00:00.008+08:00

i want this!!

endurance.

sometimes,humans just dont appreciate wad they haf in life.

Example,ME.

at times, i do haf some self thoughts abt how my life has been.

I used to think that i dont lead a happy life.

always want more than all wad i haf.

Im always unhappy abt everythin that happens around me.

My sister said i somehow try hard to be perfectionist.

Which i dont actually realised that.

later,that i really think about everythin over again.

the things,the people or everythin around me is just fine.

I haf learned how to appreciate things more.

I just cant wait for that another step of life end of 2010.

I will miss Heartrob wen he leave for reservist.To Taiwan.

I seriously do nt knw what i wud do other than spendin

time wif family,my 2nd bf(irfan) and frens.

Im suppose to go for a jog wif nadia nw but she's already asleep.

My night with nad was just fine.Better than the previous ones.

The first night,i left my wallet at hm.Cashless with me.

BF was so so so damn nice,sweet,caring enough to send me

food! i was so damn touched.

All the way from work,9am to 9pm at the airport,and rushed

just to send me food..

The nicest thing ever he has done.

post night,headed dwn to popeye with nad fr breakfast.

got nag by someone bcos i really knw how to waste money.

bt i do not mind at all wastin money on food.=)

next week's plan.

Sentosa - flying fox,wake boarding.

Pay is here,enjoy!

2010-01-19T17:15:00.004+08:00

allearson.

taylor swift-love story

Kuala Lumpur trip was Superb. my first time goin for travellin alone. thru out my whole entire life,ive always been travellin with my family.the furthest was thailand. and i still love thailand. Did alot of shoppin mostly for myself. =) other than the shoppin of course i do hunt for food.

First day- head up straight to the airport after my night shift. wads for breakfast? haha.popeye of course! i seriously regretted to go by flight bcos of the time wasted. but i haven been on flight for ages.i miss the feelin.but afterall,its just airasia so its okay. otw, i slept in the cab,in the plane,the train and a nap at the hotel. by pm,its when the shoppin starts. but the best was the bbq chicken rice.OMG! it was really incredibly delicious. and by night i was half dead. our plans was to head up to zouk but cancelled bcos i was so nicely snoring away.post night wad..haha.

second day- the only thing i look forward to from a hotel is the bouffet breakfast.im seriously a food lover. after the Big breakfast,headed up to Times Square,then to petaling street and klcc nxt.come to night,this time round we really headed down to the club.nt zouk but Cynna..how do we knw of hw to get there? i ride a god damn BMW drove by a fren.ive always wanted to feel hw its like to drive a BMW.enjoyed myself the whole night.out off stress from work and everywhere else..for once,i feel that i cud breathe that minute. the nxt day, flat.but i did nt miss the breakfast.=)

last day- packin up was boring.why? bcos i really do not knw when i cn do it again.anyway,did my last min shoppin and head up to the airport. where and when is my nxt trip? march,april,july and december. Krabi,Bali,Redand Island,BAngkok.Insyallah. NO pics yet cos im bloggin with my n97 mini. =D

2009-12-24T16:17:00.004+08:00

listenin to Taylor Swift- Breathe.

Bonus is here.

Shop alot!

And more to come next year.

My KL trip in January and February.

And to Redang Island on April.

Its not a good year at the same time.

Cz he is leavin to Dubai for work (6mths)

and Taiwan for reservist.

Ive been thinkin wad i shud be doin while he is not around.

Most of my off days spent with him.

All the movies i've watched.

Ninja Assassin(watched it 2x)-was really Awesome!

if only i haf my bf with his body.

Avatar - really a great movie with great effects!

New moon - I still love the book instead.But Jacob is really Hot!

Im not sure what people might haf think abt my life now.

But alot haf said that i look happier.Much much more happier.

I guess bcos im closer to my family than b4 and basically because of who im with now.

my only aim to life is to live it to the fullest with the people around me.

To see my parents happy is another thing.

i just hope, i will move on to another step of life.

-Sometimes,the truth is infront or ur own eyes.-

2009-12-09T16:26:00.004+08:00

Feelin Happy.

I am suppose to be out of the house by now to meet up my friends.
But im just plain lazy.

I guess bcos of the weather.

Bloggin and browsin thru the net can just kill that boredom away.

This will be quite a long post.

Ive been spendin alot on almost all of my off days and even after work.

Went shoppin with mum to JB and watched a movie with her.

We love goin out together cos we'll haf a whole lotta fun laughin.

and i love to make my mum laugh.It just makes me feel happy.

Recently went Sentosa with eunice and my family + heartrob.

Im just glad that my family are good to him and im just

hoping this go well this time round.

I know it will.

I know things happen for a reason.

Ive just got a hair cut!

Really damn short!

Why?

Cos i feel like it.

Haven tried cuttin short since young.

Nvm.

All that aside.

My current needs?

So excited alrite!

Im so headin to Sentosa again pretty soon!

Wave House,Megazip, here i coommmeee!

New year is comin.

Wads ur new year resolution?

Haf a great day people!

2009-11-22T15:33:00.003+08:00

somethings are nt meant to be told.

Love life aside.
Ive been talkin to much abt myself.

Now,family is my main concern.

The only person i need to give my full support now is to my beloved mum.

My mum has been toleratin alot of my nonsense.

She is

my best friend,

my listenin ear,

my role model

and everything.

Only God knows wad we are goin thru.

Her patience to everythin is the special strength that she has.

I come to realise on my way back hm that humans only realise their mistakes

after some time.

And by the time that u regret,its just too late to put things back to normal.

I do not regret for who i am now,who i am with and what ive done.

I believe in God's fate.

my mum showed my the reason why God has put my life line this way.

Its for a reason.Only Him and i know.

And because of all the things that happen, i began talkin to my only brother again.

U can lose a fren tie,but not a family bond.

To lie next to my mum and cry is nt a good thing.

So many things happenin at the same time.I can only grumble here and let out all my feelings.

But to tell of what actually happen, i will not.

Family is like a picture.

Treasure it, and hold onto it forever.

2009-10-27T13:11:00.009+08:00

of course, he love hugs.

nadia, i love ur face here.

I want/need a holidae.

When? Where?

Next year.Redang Island.lovely.

My two off days burnt off by Irfan and mumsie.

Since my sister is busy werkin, i haf to help mum babysit him.

But i dnt mind takin care of him like,the whole day?

Yesterday had all my dendam to Popeye already.

I just love the cheesecake the mashed potato the biscuit and jam.yummy.

"It has been hard for me and you.

But i just haf to let it go,for our own good.

Let people see it as my fault for not workin on it all out.

But i know why i shoudnt.

You've let me seen

the real world,

the truth,

the real love.

Ive nvr regretted knowin you.

Its the best for us."

Im leavin it all to Allah to decide,to lead me to the right path if im wrong.

Insya'allah.

2009-10-12T17:38:00.002+08:00

Its all over.

Im seriously very sure that its a very wise decision ive made.
My mind is finally at ease with no mental torture or problems to worry about.
I know whats best for me,you and my future.
Im extraordinarily happy and contented with my life right now.
Thank you to Allah for showin me what is real and leadin me to the right path.

Thank you to my friends and cousin who is there for me when i needed someone to talk to and for givin me words of advices.

But this is the decision that i,myself chose.

If all of you do realised, ive deactivated my facebook acct.
Why? because people are hackin in to my acct!

2009-10-02T22:08:00.003+08:00

Im still waiting.

I cant stand it.

Recallin everythin over and over and over again.

Let people see me tearin down.

This is nt the type of person i am.

I know i have to move on but its the hardest ever.

my dad texted me and talk things over but i know it wont work.

So my answer is, let God show me the way.

And i will stay like this forever?

I've been destroyin my health these few days.

But at the same time doin some healthy lifestyle out of boredom and release out my stressors.

Gone swimmin,stayin out late with my cliques,textin hundreds of msges to him.

I've listed all my choices made by myself and friends.

All the best to myself.

I think its whats best for me.

P.S give it a thought.